Why have you chosen to take on the roles that now fill your daily life? It is a question worth asking yourself. There is a world of choices, after all, of which responsibilities, functions, and positions you will choose to spend “…all the days of your fleeting life which He has given to you under the sun.” (Eccl 9:9). For most God-loving individuals, the reasons we’ve embraced the roles we have been Divinely assigned, go way beyond trying to avoid what happened to the angels who “did not keep their own domain, but abandoned their proper abode” (Jude 6.) The truth is, living out the roles we were created to live, simply brings the most fulfillment for anyone who is adding to one’s life the qualities of the fruits of the Spirit of Galatians 5 and the virtues of 2 Peter 1.
When one examines the role God gave Adam’s “helper suitable”, and the oneness they were to enjoy (Gen. 2), and when one observes the activities of the ideal woman of Proverbs 31, as well as the instructions given in the New Testament to women about their responsibilities (Titus 2:3-5), it becomes apparent that almost everything revealed about the role of women relates either directly or indirectly to their relationships. The primary role of women is to plant, grow and enjoy relationships; anything a woman allows to distract her attention from fulfilling this role, will eventually leave her with regret.
God has freed women from the responsibilities of church leadership (1 Tim. 2:12, 3:2), and heading up the family (Eph. 5:23); for that we should be grateful. We still have immeasurable influence, without the pressures of having the final say in very consequential decisions. If you resent not being entrusted with a more visible position or role, you’re underestimating the opportunities of a woman choosing to live within Biblical bounds, and you are over-valuing our present day “seats of honor”. Look at the critical roles the women of the New Testament played in the ministry of Jesus, as well as the early church! Now that’s power, real power.
Women hold the key to keeping civilization intact. Even if all men wanted to be immoral, they could not ruin civilization without our cooperation. We have what they care most about, and if we uphold upright standards and expectations in order for them to obtain what they care most about, our culture stays afloat. One generation of women like this, and most social problems, including abortion, poverty, pornography, adultery, etc. are prevented. That’s powerful. And upholding civilization-preserving standards fulfills the woman’s role to plant, grow, and enjoy relationships.
The source of my ability to water my relationships depends upon the strength of my own spiritual root system. "Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD... For he will be like a tree planted by the water, that extends its roots by a stream and will not fear when the heat comes; but its leaves will be green, and it will not be anxious in a year of drought nor cease to yield fruit.” (Jeremiah 17:7-8) God has made it very clear how we build our relationship with Him--- intently listening to His written word and responding with heartfelt obedience (John 14:15), and with intimacy casting all our cares upon Him (1 Pet. 5:7)
When a woman has this strong root system, she is better able to help others plant, grow, and enjoy their relationship with God (2 Cor. 5:20). The social skills that come natural to most women, give them a special advantage in this most important task. Sharing the power of the gospel, making an eternal difference in someone else’s life, trumps the power of climbing the corporate ladder any day.
When a woman finds creative ways to make her marriage all it can be, she is fulfilling her primary role to plant, grow and enjoy her relationships. Gary Smalley is right when he says that women have a “built-in marriage manual.” Most women, he says, can tell you with accuracy on a scale of one to ten, how healthy her marriage relationship is, and can even tell you what it would take to make her relationship “a ten”. Use your built in marriage manual and decide what you can do today to make your relationship even better.
When a mother “finds herself” by finding ways to love and serve her family, giving her children and those she loves best --- the best of herself in time and energy, she is fulfilling her primary role to plant, grow and enjoy her relationships. Motherhood is an opportunity to serve in humbleness with no regard as to how our service might lead to self- promotion. How powerful the influence of women whose schedules truly reflect what they claim to care about the most!
Within a congregation, a God-loving woman does not waste her powerful influence in the realms of gossip, strife, envy or complaining, but instead loses herself in her primary role to plant, grow and enjoy her relationships. She, like George Bailey of It’s a Wonderful Life, may be unaware of all the differences for good her life is impacting theirs. Who in your congregation most needs your encouragement today?
Even a woman’s relationship with her community fulfills her primary role. She uses it when she helps the candidate with the highest moral standard get elected, when she volunteers for disaster relief, writes editorials or her congressman, and gets involved in pro-life or other vital causes. I know a mom, who with her children wrote their local grocery store suggesting “family friendly” isles free of indecent magazine covers. The whole chain has now adopted the idea. She’s using her power, and the power of a woman’s influence is priceless.
I think you’ll agree that if you lost everything, yet still had your relationships - you’d still feel whole. Your relationships are what you’d care about most if you knew the limit of your time on earth-- not how much you earned, but how much you loved. Love well.
Cindy Dunagan
Author of the Journaling Toward Moral Excellence series of journals.
cindy@straightpathspress.com
Journaling Toward Moral Excellence
