If you could give only one marriage tip, would you be able to improve on the Lord’s advice of Romans 12:10, “…outdo one another in showing honor.” ? (RSV) The daily expression of honor is foundational to every healthy relationship. 1 Peter 3 reveals God’s plans for happy marriages. I like to call it “the cycle of love”, and it’s a glorious thing! If you are a wife who wants to get this cycle in motion in your marriage, your Creator says in this chapter that submission, obedience, chastity, respect, and a gentle and quiet spirit are the answer. When even one marriage partner uses his or her words and actions to show honor, it motivates the other to do likewise, and thus the glorious cycle begins. What does honor look like every day? Here are a few ideas:
- Trade “You idiot!” in for “You amaze me!” Instead of making your husband feel unintelligent or small, tell him all the things you honesty admire and adore about him. Be the unofficial president of his fan club, and he will not need to go elsewhere to find recognition.
- Let go of grudges. If you are unable to influence your husband to change for the better you can at least change your perspective. Dwell habitually upon all the things you saw in him when you first fell in love, and your desire to honor him will grow.
- Count on God to accomplish in your relationship what you, by your own strength, cannot accomplish alone. Pray for the desire and ability to meet all his needs. Even better, get comfortable praying alone with your husband. Besides being effective (James 5:16), this will bring an emotional intimacy to your marriage that little else can.
- Ask your husband what three specific things you can do that would make him feel more respected or honored, and make the changes you can. Start a cycle of love and honor in your house. Life is too short to miss out on opportunities to make your marriage all it can be.
Cindy Dunagan
Author of the Journaling Toward Moral Excellence series of journals.
cindy@straightpathspress.com
Journaling Toward Moral Excellence