1. Do have the right motives in your heart when extending an offer of hospitality. What’s the proper motive? The proper motive is found in the very definition of hospitality: The LOVE of strangers. God promises to reward those whose service toward Him through serving others is only motivated by love. (1 Cor. 13:1-3) And what’s not to love? There is nothing more fascinating than people- they are the pinnacle of God’s creation! What a pleasure and how fascinating it can be to get to know new people who can so enrich our lives with their unique insights and experiences.
2. Don’t keep inviting the same friends and family over. Get out of your comfort zone. Hospitality is not always about your own ease or entertainment; it is about touching the lives of new people, and broadening your sphere of influence. If you are a bit shy, invite someone you are comfortable with along with “the new girl in town”.
3. Do schedule ahead, when possible. Do you have intentions of inviting over the new family who just placed membership where you worship? If you are like me, unless it’s on the calendar, good intentions are probably not materializing. Decide how often you are able to extend hospitality. Weekly? Bi-monthly? Monthly? On the first of each month call to schedule a meal with a non-Christian friend you think may be interested in a Bible study, or someone in your congregation who most needs encouragement, along with perhaps another family with whom you think they would best “hit if off”. If something comes up to cancel the evening, try to reschedule at the time of the cancellation.
4. Don’t get sidetracked into projects and activities that keep you from valuing the only thing in this world that is truly valuable-people! Be people oriented even more than being task oriented. After all, God says, “The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love.” Gal. 5:6. Our side projects are only important in so far as they serve those around us. If you are too busy to show hospitality, you’re too busy.
5. Do think outside the box, by thinking inside the box. We have found that visiting Christians take up an offer to enjoy our hospitality, not to see our fine china, but to meet new friends. My husband Mark and I have fond memories of extending hospitality toward visiting a couple, the husband of which would later become an elder of our congregation. It was a Sunday night, and it was their first visit to our congregation. After inviting them over we stopped, on our way home, by a favorite Teriyaki restaurant and brought home dinner in Styrofoam containers- and had a blast. If you can afford to feed your guests take out, and that is what is working best for you, don’t pass up the opportunity to establish a new friendship just because you don’t have time to cook.
6. Do be spontaneous. If you clean house on Saturday night, you’ll feel more confident spontaneously inviting a new visiting family over for lunch Sunday after worship. “Think big” when you are putting lunch in the crock-pot or oven Sunday morning, and you’ll either be prepared for company Sunday afternoon, or will enjoy the “consolation prize” of not having to cook again on Monday.
7. Do have activities your guests may enjoy. Doesn’t hurt to keep a basket of the best toys your kids have outgrown, stored away for guests with young children. We sometimes take our more athletic guests on our hour-long hill-climbing “killer walk”, which lends itself to deep conversation, or invite them to play badminton or basketball. Dominos is a nice option for carrying on a conversation outside the game itself. We bond with our more outgoing guests through board games like Cranium, Taboo, or Balderdash, which can be hysterical.
8. Don’t sweat the small stuff. One time we had all the teenagers over for a class and as we were sitting in a circle around the living room, our cat Mufusa came to the center of our circle to “toss her cookies” (in the form of a fur ball). The more you sweat the small stuff, the more likely your toddler is going to have some kind of blowout, the toilet is going to get clogged, or the dog is going be obnoxious. I believe, however, when our guests see how “imperfect” we are, they are free to relax and relate to us on a more honest and open level, and it is only then when we can begin to influence one another for good.
9. Do “get back in the saddle again” if you’ve been burned in the past when showing hospitality to strangers. Remember, we don’t serve God so we can get thank you cards, “payback invitations”, or even to see instant changes in those whose lives we touch. Satan can fool us into thinking that hospitality, or any work done for God’s glory, is of no avail if we see no earthly results. The truth is, God is glorified when His will is done, and those who do his will, will be blessed. Do the right thing despite the results, and you will frustrate the plans of the tempter.
10. Do remember that those who practice this love of strangers will one day hear the Lord say to them, “Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world…I was a stranger, and ye took me in…” Matt. 25:34-35
Cindy Dunagan
cindy@straightpathspress.com
Author of the Journaling Toward Moral Excellence series of journals for young writers, preteens, teenagers, and young adults.
www.straightpathspress.com.
Journaling Toward Moral Excellence
